I wonder what your doing. Its 12am- are you still hunched over your proposal, your fingers racking your hair, or are you asleep- resting. Is there someone else in your bed beside you? Do you wrap your arms around her when you sleep, and cradle her into you. Do you fit as well as we did?
I wonder if you found her, does she make you smile like i did? Can you pick her up and swing her around. Does she look up at you with beautiful adoring eyes. Does she make you laugh? And when you make love to her, does your body tingle with pleasure? Every touch sending a tingle down your spine.
I miss the way we made love; gentle, rough, passionate......but wholeheartedly as though pouring every ounce of emotion into each other. sometimes you made me want to cry.........the passion overwhelmed me. I couldnt get enough of you; in the shower, between the sheets, on the window seat.
I miss the pillow talk, and the way we could talk for hours. We planned our future. I had a great one planned out but you were the chocolate sauce- you made it complete, you made it rich. We wanted to do so many things. I wanted to horseride with you and ride quad bikes and see the world through your eyes. We planned holidays and nights out. We even planned to meet your son. The most precious being you knew.
I even miss your doubts, your insecurities, the troubled look you would get sometimes. I wanted to kiss it all away. i loved you so much more than you knew
Was it even real, it seems so vivid, yet so far away now. I wonder where you are. I wonder what your doing. my heart stops for awhile when I think of you. Your incredible.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The missing coin: Part 6
To trust or not to trust.
My last post has left me almost up to date with my sugar journey. From the sexual rendevous and highlife provided to me by Mr Director (my first sugar daddy) to the inbetween sugar which consisted of gifts of various amounts...just for talking to men . Some of these men i have plans to meet in the next week or two.
Meanwhile there is Mr.Coin. My handsome but mysterious executive. The latest unfoldings occcured about two weeks ago when I received the sum total of allowance promised to me for the brief time we entered an arrangement.
He said at the time ' he would pay the amount agreed, but couldnt carry it on any further although he would try'. He then sighed and said the problem is 'he has fallen for me..........and needs strings' He said he doesn't want to lose me and fears by the time his finances sort out it will be too late". I make him 'happy' and 'comfortable'. The problem with his expressions of affection is that "this is what i intend to do for a sugar daddy; my role is to make him 'happy' and to be an escape from the stress of life".
Has he fallen in love with the image I create? Sure its part of me- its the sweet, nurturing, exciting and fun part of me BUT there is also the moody, grumpy, sometimes insecure side of me.
Have I created a fictional character that men 'fall in love with' or is he having me on?Does he just want 'free girfriend sex' as one blogger put it? or is he in love with me?
Pherhaps I have created the ultimate man enticer- the perfect mix of brains, sweetness and hotness- minus the emotion, neediness and insecurity? Afterall my last sugar daddy fell head over heels aswell
WHO does he love, I wonder.......or rather, more accurately---WhAT does he love?
on the flipside- best sex i've had in my life ;). Affectionate, sensual, intense and full of chemistry- that kind that makes you catch your breath...........
My last post has left me almost up to date with my sugar journey. From the sexual rendevous and highlife provided to me by Mr Director (my first sugar daddy) to the inbetween sugar which consisted of gifts of various amounts...just for talking to men . Some of these men i have plans to meet in the next week or two.
Meanwhile there is Mr.Coin. My handsome but mysterious executive. The latest unfoldings occcured about two weeks ago when I received the sum total of allowance promised to me for the brief time we entered an arrangement.
He said at the time ' he would pay the amount agreed, but couldnt carry it on any further although he would try'. He then sighed and said the problem is 'he has fallen for me..........and needs strings' He said he doesn't want to lose me and fears by the time his finances sort out it will be too late". I make him 'happy' and 'comfortable'. The problem with his expressions of affection is that "this is what i intend to do for a sugar daddy; my role is to make him 'happy' and to be an escape from the stress of life".
Has he fallen in love with the image I create? Sure its part of me- its the sweet, nurturing, exciting and fun part of me BUT there is also the moody, grumpy, sometimes insecure side of me.
Have I created a fictional character that men 'fall in love with' or is he having me on?Does he just want 'free girfriend sex' as one blogger put it? or is he in love with me?
Pherhaps I have created the ultimate man enticer- the perfect mix of brains, sweetness and hotness- minus the emotion, neediness and insecurity? Afterall my last sugar daddy fell head over heels aswell
WHO does he love, I wonder.......or rather, more accurately---WhAT does he love?
on the flipside- best sex i've had in my life ;). Affectionate, sensual, intense and full of chemistry- that kind that makes you catch your breath...........
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Missing Coin: Part 5
Spectulations
With the bizzareness of the story to date: I turned to fellow sugarlanders for help.
THe advice offered varied from persons to person: many said he was a douche and to cut my losses, some however thought he was a con artist. Was the coin part of an elaborate plot.?
Like the secret feel of our first meet- was there something more sinister below the surface?
Was the coin real, or just a fake. If it was real, it had to be part of a collection.
Pherhaps he would claim I had stolen it from him ?
Why give me a single coin? If I tried to cash it in, it would surely raise questions? where did i get it from? Maybe it was his ex wifes coin- and thus not traceable to him- pherhaps she wasnt his ex wife.... was he even divorced?
Fellow sugarlanders spectulated and the plot began to get deeper. So what was he?
was he
a) telling the truth
b) A con artist
c) A guy who just wanted a quick shag and pawned me off with a worthless coin when i asked for money.
With the bizzareness of the story to date: I turned to fellow sugarlanders for help.
THe advice offered varied from persons to person: many said he was a douche and to cut my losses, some however thought he was a con artist. Was the coin part of an elaborate plot.?
Like the secret feel of our first meet- was there something more sinister below the surface?
Was the coin real, or just a fake. If it was real, it had to be part of a collection.
Pherhaps he would claim I had stolen it from him ?
Why give me a single coin? If I tried to cash it in, it would surely raise questions? where did i get it from? Maybe it was his ex wifes coin- and thus not traceable to him- pherhaps she wasnt his ex wife.... was he even divorced?
Fellow sugarlanders spectulated and the plot began to get deeper. So what was he?
was he
a) telling the truth
b) A con artist
c) A guy who just wanted a quick shag and pawned me off with a worthless coin when i asked for money.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Random acts of Sugar
I ended the last post wondering what the relevance behind the antique coin was and when I was going to get my coinage. I will carry this on next post....but in the meantime: a brief interlude.
I titled this post Random Acts of Sugar....but it could also be called unsuspected sugar or unrequited sugar :)
Ive collected a few odd pieces of sugar without any expected returns. Here are a few examples from sugar searching before Director SD (who last 6mo) and before and during Mr.Coin who was never really a SD to begin with.
Mr Neurology:
we chatted about 3-4 times. He expressed his adoration for me and desire to meet me (he lived in sydney- I live in NZ). We share lame medical pickup jokes such as If I was Adenine Id choose U. (If you dont get it, its okay, your not meant to ;)) he sent me $350 NZ dollars in amazon vouchers. ..and then after chat four- he poofed- never to be heard from again.
APPROX FOUR HOURS OF CONVO= nearly $100 an hr
Mr Retired and lonely:
Same scenario. This time three hours and $300 in amazon vouchers
Mr Emergency Room:
One of my first sugar attempts. He was an ER doc in Sydney. We chatted for a little while and then arranged to meet. He got me return tickets and accomodation in my own name. I headed over for a long weekend over the summer term break. He decided I wasnt the one for him but reimbursed me with $1000 nZ dollars. PArt of this was spent on extra sightseeing and shopping while he worked but I banked $700. This was a huge credit to him however as we had only agreed on missed wages for the weekend (i usually work weekends) should it not work out.
APPROX ONE LUNCH: free holiday,shopping, 700 cash
and lately Ive been speaking to a pot who just gave me another $350 in amazon vouchers after an hr of conversation.
I AM AMAZONED OUT :P ......(but doubt itll last much more than a year of medschool!)
Disclaimer: I always ended to either meet these men or go through with an arrangement. The above were all poof daddies, excluding ER doc who didnt see a future but decided to help me out anyway and my recent pot who just 'felt like it'. (regardless of wether the meet is successfull)
I titled this post Random Acts of Sugar....but it could also be called unsuspected sugar or unrequited sugar :)
Ive collected a few odd pieces of sugar without any expected returns. Here are a few examples from sugar searching before Director SD (who last 6mo) and before and during Mr.Coin who was never really a SD to begin with.
Mr Neurology:
we chatted about 3-4 times. He expressed his adoration for me and desire to meet me (he lived in sydney- I live in NZ). We share lame medical pickup jokes such as If I was Adenine Id choose U. (If you dont get it, its okay, your not meant to ;)) he sent me $350 NZ dollars in amazon vouchers. ..and then after chat four- he poofed- never to be heard from again.
APPROX FOUR HOURS OF CONVO= nearly $100 an hr
Mr Retired and lonely:
Same scenario. This time three hours and $300 in amazon vouchers
Mr Emergency Room:
One of my first sugar attempts. He was an ER doc in Sydney. We chatted for a little while and then arranged to meet. He got me return tickets and accomodation in my own name. I headed over for a long weekend over the summer term break. He decided I wasnt the one for him but reimbursed me with $1000 nZ dollars. PArt of this was spent on extra sightseeing and shopping while he worked but I banked $700. This was a huge credit to him however as we had only agreed on missed wages for the weekend (i usually work weekends) should it not work out.
APPROX ONE LUNCH: free holiday,shopping, 700 cash
and lately Ive been speaking to a pot who just gave me another $350 in amazon vouchers after an hr of conversation.
I AM AMAZONED OUT :P ......(but doubt itll last much more than a year of medschool!)
Disclaimer: I always ended to either meet these men or go through with an arrangement. The above were all poof daddies, excluding ER doc who didnt see a future but decided to help me out anyway and my recent pot who just 'felt like it'. (regardless of wether the meet is successfull)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The missing Coin - Part Four
Paying in antiques
my doubting led to cursing and anger.............this was the first time id been burnt and it stung.
I decided my sugar days were over, it was too risky......i felt used.
After a week of bitterness and avoidance of all males........i got a phone call one night whilst in the library. The number was blocked but it was him. Oh this was good I thought, I wonder what he has to say for himself. The small talk was agnoising, I dont know why but he figured id want to talk about 'how my day was, or what im doing in the weekend' .
Finally he cut to the chase......."Im sorry about the money, I have something I need to explain to you" can you do dinner on wednesday? Ill give you the cash then.
I told him "i wasnt sure and wanted to see it in my account first" (yes i was still irritated at him). He pleaded with me to just "trust him". I finally conceded in and agreed to meet him. If nothing else at least I may get my money, then i can up and leave. Sugar relationships are meant to be simple. this one was far too much drama and it had only been a week.
Wednesday rolled around and I met him at 'la porchetta' an italian restaurant on the waterfront.
My bitterness had motivated me to dress extra beautiful. I wanted him to realise just what he was about to lose. I picked a simple princess line dress in a deep purple and black kitten heels. I wore my long hair down. The blondness of my hair paired with the purple dress gave me a sultry, sexy look. I was ready to kill...literally?
We settled into dinner. my dress had the effect i desired; he couldn't keep his eyes off me.
Sitting down he sighed- grabbed my hand and proceeded to tell me the following tale:
"Im in the middle of a lawsuit with my company and just had to pay my lawyers bill, I dont have any money left over at present". "Just give me a bit more time".
I glanced sideways at him. "sure buddy......you were fine before, how coincidental?!"
He tries to explain the questions i direct at him but his explanations are vague.
Him: I know its coincidental
him: yes I know its strange I dont have savings but i've come out of a messy divorce a year back and lost most of my assets. After the divorce I went crazy and spent everything i had.
him: yes I get a high wage- but its mainly bonuses and commission. Because i''m in trouble at present my bonus and commission have stopped.
I got up gracefully from the table after finishing my meal (of course) and told him I had to leave. He pleaded with me, and pressed a coin into my hand
The coin was from 1648........apparently worth 3k.........apparently a token of his word.
But what use was a coin? and what about the real coinage he owed me?
was this the last id hear of him? was there something more to the coin?
the end?
my doubting led to cursing and anger.............this was the first time id been burnt and it stung.
I decided my sugar days were over, it was too risky......i felt used.
After a week of bitterness and avoidance of all males........i got a phone call one night whilst in the library. The number was blocked but it was him. Oh this was good I thought, I wonder what he has to say for himself. The small talk was agnoising, I dont know why but he figured id want to talk about 'how my day was, or what im doing in the weekend' .
Finally he cut to the chase......."Im sorry about the money, I have something I need to explain to you" can you do dinner on wednesday? Ill give you the cash then.
I told him "i wasnt sure and wanted to see it in my account first" (yes i was still irritated at him). He pleaded with me to just "trust him". I finally conceded in and agreed to meet him. If nothing else at least I may get my money, then i can up and leave. Sugar relationships are meant to be simple. this one was far too much drama and it had only been a week.
Wednesday rolled around and I met him at 'la porchetta' an italian restaurant on the waterfront.
My bitterness had motivated me to dress extra beautiful. I wanted him to realise just what he was about to lose. I picked a simple princess line dress in a deep purple and black kitten heels. I wore my long hair down. The blondness of my hair paired with the purple dress gave me a sultry, sexy look. I was ready to kill...literally?
We settled into dinner. my dress had the effect i desired; he couldn't keep his eyes off me.
Sitting down he sighed- grabbed my hand and proceeded to tell me the following tale:
"Im in the middle of a lawsuit with my company and just had to pay my lawyers bill, I dont have any money left over at present". "Just give me a bit more time".
I glanced sideways at him. "sure buddy......you were fine before, how coincidental?!"
He tries to explain the questions i direct at him but his explanations are vague.
Him: I know its coincidental
him: yes I know its strange I dont have savings but i've come out of a messy divorce a year back and lost most of my assets. After the divorce I went crazy and spent everything i had.
him: yes I get a high wage- but its mainly bonuses and commission. Because i''m in trouble at present my bonus and commission have stopped.
I got up gracefully from the table after finishing my meal (of course) and told him I had to leave. He pleaded with me, and pressed a coin into my hand
The coin was from 1648........apparently worth 3k.........apparently a token of his word.
But what use was a coin? and what about the real coinage he owed me?
was this the last id hear of him? was there something more to the coin?
the end?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Missing Coin, Part 3
Rose Coloured Glasses
The last post left me driving off to classes after a evening and night of fine wine, dessert and fantastic sex in a beautiful 5 star hotel. Driving my beaten up college car from the hotel, I felt as if in a pardox. I parked my car across from the medical school with the array of other beaten up cars. Here my car was at home; the slightly ding in the door from careless students and the slightly bended number plate was unnoticeable. No one would ever guess it received valet services and was parked between a BMW and a Mercedes. Its disguise, like mine, was good.
Come monday I eagerly checked my bank account but it still read negative 1000 dollars. my shoulders dropped- had I trusted him too easily? Doubts started to enter my mind.
I tried to call him a couple times, and sent a text message but heard nothing.
my rationalisation? hes busy, hes at work, his phone is off, hes in a meeting.
I was sure he had just gotten busy, or the money had bounced. Pherhaps I gave him the wrong account number. Afterall he was 'besotted' with me.......he would never risk losing me...right?
Finally at 1130 pm i received a text "sorry babe in syndey"
I replied instantly- phew- he was just busy-I had worried for nothing.
or had I? He didn't reply after that and he didn't mention money at all.
I sighed, feeling dejected. Perhaps it was just an illusion. This world felt disappointing.
Perhaps I was better off among the toyota's of this world- at least their reliable....
next: paying in antiques
The last post left me driving off to classes after a evening and night of fine wine, dessert and fantastic sex in a beautiful 5 star hotel. Driving my beaten up college car from the hotel, I felt as if in a pardox. I parked my car across from the medical school with the array of other beaten up cars. Here my car was at home; the slightly ding in the door from careless students and the slightly bended number plate was unnoticeable. No one would ever guess it received valet services and was parked between a BMW and a Mercedes. Its disguise, like mine, was good.
Come monday I eagerly checked my bank account but it still read negative 1000 dollars. my shoulders dropped- had I trusted him too easily? Doubts started to enter my mind.
I tried to call him a couple times, and sent a text message but heard nothing.
my rationalisation? hes busy, hes at work, his phone is off, hes in a meeting.
I was sure he had just gotten busy, or the money had bounced. Pherhaps I gave him the wrong account number. Afterall he was 'besotted' with me.......he would never risk losing me...right?
Finally at 1130 pm i received a text "sorry babe in syndey"
I replied instantly- phew- he was just busy-I had worried for nothing.
or had I? He didn't reply after that and he didn't mention money at all.
I sighed, feeling dejected. Perhaps it was just an illusion. This world felt disappointing.
Perhaps I was better off among the toyota's of this world- at least their reliable....
next: paying in antiques
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Missing Coin Part Two
Sex and Creme Brulee
He text me a few days later to arrange our next meet. The factual part of the texts went something like this:
Him: Monday or sunday?
me: monday
Him (on monday) sorry, cant do monday: wednesday or thursday?
me: thursday
him: Sorry cant do thursday now-a meeting came up, friday?
me: okay friday, text me to confirm on thursday.
Thursday rolled around and no confirmation so i agreed to see my friend instead. Lo and behold he rings on friday at 6pm. He has been busy and is apologetic. He asks to take me to dinner.. I tell him i have previous plans but can see him later on.
So Later on turns into about 10'clock. I drive my car up to the hotel and hand my keys to the valet. He looks bemused...I think he is trying to figure out what a 23 year old college student with a very 'college' looking car is doing at a 5 star hotel.
I enter the foyer of the hotel and give him a quick call. He comes down looking devine as usual....and we head out for dessert. We head to a quaint little cafe off the mainsteet. The evening is just as nice as the first one...
We talk over creme brulee and fine wine. We dream about places we would like to visit and share travel stories. He tells me about china and his adventures in europe. I tell him about India, vietnam, thailand and my adventures roughing it on classroom floors. Not to mention the backpacker in india where electiricty in the shower gave off random sparks, making you wonder wether you were going to die an exposed and early death.
After wards, he picked up the bill and held the door open for me...we walked hand in hand by the harbourside. He told me 'how beautiful i was' and how he couldnt wait to take me travelling with him. His natural charm and his affluence worked thier wonders on me.....I felt like 'a la pretty woman'.
The evening progressed into returning to his hotel room. By this time it was getting cold and the rain had started to tip down. I tucked myself into the covers of the bed and cuddled up to him. We watched about half of a movie on the big screen above the bed...before he started to move his fingers tenderly through my hair.....and procdeded to kiss my neck......one thing led to another and we made slow but passionate love. The sex was good and he made a generous lover.....I was not complaining by any means.
The next morning we ordered room service and had breakfast in bed. During breakfast: I asked him sweetly how he wished to handle finances. he smiled and kissing me said to email him my bank account...and that hed wire it by the monday...
Trustingly i thanked him...I was positive he'd come through...
Coming up: Wearing rose coloured glasses
He text me a few days later to arrange our next meet. The factual part of the texts went something like this:
Him: Monday or sunday?
me: monday
Him (on monday) sorry, cant do monday: wednesday or thursday?
me: thursday
him: Sorry cant do thursday now-a meeting came up, friday?
me: okay friday, text me to confirm on thursday.
Thursday rolled around and no confirmation so i agreed to see my friend instead. Lo and behold he rings on friday at 6pm. He has been busy and is apologetic. He asks to take me to dinner.. I tell him i have previous plans but can see him later on.
So Later on turns into about 10'clock. I drive my car up to the hotel and hand my keys to the valet. He looks bemused...I think he is trying to figure out what a 23 year old college student with a very 'college' looking car is doing at a 5 star hotel.
I enter the foyer of the hotel and give him a quick call. He comes down looking devine as usual....and we head out for dessert. We head to a quaint little cafe off the mainsteet. The evening is just as nice as the first one...
We talk over creme brulee and fine wine. We dream about places we would like to visit and share travel stories. He tells me about china and his adventures in europe. I tell him about India, vietnam, thailand and my adventures roughing it on classroom floors. Not to mention the backpacker in india where electiricty in the shower gave off random sparks, making you wonder wether you were going to die an exposed and early death.
After wards, he picked up the bill and held the door open for me...we walked hand in hand by the harbourside. He told me 'how beautiful i was' and how he couldnt wait to take me travelling with him. His natural charm and his affluence worked thier wonders on me.....I felt like 'a la pretty woman'.
The evening progressed into returning to his hotel room. By this time it was getting cold and the rain had started to tip down. I tucked myself into the covers of the bed and cuddled up to him. We watched about half of a movie on the big screen above the bed...before he started to move his fingers tenderly through my hair.....and procdeded to kiss my neck......one thing led to another and we made slow but passionate love. The sex was good and he made a generous lover.....I was not complaining by any means.
The next morning we ordered room service and had breakfast in bed. During breakfast: I asked him sweetly how he wished to handle finances. he smiled and kissing me said to email him my bank account...and that hed wire it by the monday...
Trustingly i thanked him...I was positive he'd come through...
Coming up: Wearing rose coloured glasses
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Missing Coin
The tale of my next Sugar Daddy (if you can even call it that) presents a strange mystery. I'm currently halfway through unravelling it, but figured I would begin to tell the story anyway. Thank-you to all the advice from fellow sugar babies and daddies.
...and so begins the tale of the missing coin
His profile read that he was a travelling IT executive...it reminded me of the movie 'up in the air' with George Clooney. I had built up an image of an older distinguished man with slightly graying hair...this image would soon be flipped around.
I met him at a nice Spanish restaurant in central auckland. It has a romantic but almost secretive atmosphere. The bar is to the side. There is an upper section of the restaurant that overlooks the street and a lower portion that is a little darker with dim mood lighting. I walked into the bar wearing a simple black dress with an open back,heels and single drop pearl necklace.
He spotted me nearly straight away and smiling invited me to join him at a corner table to the back of the restaurant.
Little did I know that The candlelight and secret feel of our meeting would set the scene for what was still to come.
I was suprised to find that he was so young (30). He wore an expensive suit, cufflinks and was well groomed. His image exuded affluence and success. In addition he was handsome and well spoken. Our conversation went well and it turned out we were interested in alot of the same things. He told me fairly 'off the bat' that he was impressed with me and felt like i was the whole package: "smart, beautiful and sweet".
His reasons for being a sugar daddy were that his lifestyle doesn't permit a committed relationship yet he still desired to spend time with a woman that he could talk to and whom he genuinely liked. He commented that although he could pick up chicks in bars, he wasn't after an overnight stand; he wanted something ongoing and warmer.
We agreed that 2-2.5k seemed reasonable as a monthly allowance, in addition I could travel with him whenever i wanted to. He didn't however ask for my bank account number or my preferred means of receiving cash.. I didn't think too much of it at the time...but it should have presented a red flag.
coming up: sex and creme brulee
...and so begins the tale of the missing coin
His profile read that he was a travelling IT executive...it reminded me of the movie 'up in the air' with George Clooney. I had built up an image of an older distinguished man with slightly graying hair...this image would soon be flipped around.
I met him at a nice Spanish restaurant in central auckland. It has a romantic but almost secretive atmosphere. The bar is to the side. There is an upper section of the restaurant that overlooks the street and a lower portion that is a little darker with dim mood lighting. I walked into the bar wearing a simple black dress with an open back,heels and single drop pearl necklace.
He spotted me nearly straight away and smiling invited me to join him at a corner table to the back of the restaurant.
Little did I know that The candlelight and secret feel of our meeting would set the scene for what was still to come.
I was suprised to find that he was so young (30). He wore an expensive suit, cufflinks and was well groomed. His image exuded affluence and success. In addition he was handsome and well spoken. Our conversation went well and it turned out we were interested in alot of the same things. He told me fairly 'off the bat' that he was impressed with me and felt like i was the whole package: "smart, beautiful and sweet".
His reasons for being a sugar daddy were that his lifestyle doesn't permit a committed relationship yet he still desired to spend time with a woman that he could talk to and whom he genuinely liked. He commented that although he could pick up chicks in bars, he wasn't after an overnight stand; he wanted something ongoing and warmer.
We agreed that 2-2.5k seemed reasonable as a monthly allowance, in addition I could travel with him whenever i wanted to. He didn't however ask for my bank account number or my preferred means of receiving cash.. I didn't think too much of it at the time...but it should have presented a red flag.
coming up: sex and creme brulee
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Mr Creative Director: The Sequel?
I'm a bad sugar baby.......i weakened, i gave in.
My old Sugar Daddy (Mr Director) text me last week.
Mr D: "hey baby, want to come to XXXX with me this saturday night, I can pick you up at 4..we will be back at noon on sunday. Two hotel rooms- no pressure. All you need to do be your charming self, pretend to be my colleague and chat to a couple of big shots after the gig".
Me: You mean help you close a deal ;). Do I get commission?
Mr D: of course...there's $XXX in it for you.
Me: Sure, I'm in then - if you choose XXXX hotel. (name ommited because new zealand is too small!)
I gave in girls, I gave in. Mr D has an effect on me. Driving down to XXX we caught up on each others lifes. I always enjoy speaking with him, hes fascinating, he makes me laugh and he shows a genuine interest in how i am.
We got to the gig about two hours later.
VIP function beforehand was okay...lots of schmoozing and me pretending to 'talk the talk'.
We sat at the back of the theatre (really just his way of getting me away from preying eyes). Talking to mr D, I realised how much id missed him. He makes me feel like im the most important person in the world. My knees weaken around him.
He may be 40, but hes a sexy distinguished 40. He makes my blood boil when im around him. THis night was no different. I tried to avoid his gaze, his fingers which grazed as though an accident across my legs...but the tension was rising.
The night consisted of sneaky touches and the accidental grazing of fingers.
By the time we got back to the hotel...and a few wines later the sexual anticipation had built to near breaking point. Despite my allegations that nothing would happen...it took us all off 5minutes to get from classy and contained to wild and savage. During our realationship our love making had been slow and passionate...tonight we were simply primal.
My old Sugar Daddy (Mr Director) text me last week.
Mr D: "hey baby, want to come to XXXX with me this saturday night, I can pick you up at 4..we will be back at noon on sunday. Two hotel rooms- no pressure. All you need to do be your charming self, pretend to be my colleague and chat to a couple of big shots after the gig".
Me: You mean help you close a deal ;). Do I get commission?
Mr D: of course...there's $XXX in it for you.
Me: Sure, I'm in then - if you choose XXXX hotel. (name ommited because new zealand is too small!)
I gave in girls, I gave in. Mr D has an effect on me. Driving down to XXX we caught up on each others lifes. I always enjoy speaking with him, hes fascinating, he makes me laugh and he shows a genuine interest in how i am.
We got to the gig about two hours later.
VIP function beforehand was okay...lots of schmoozing and me pretending to 'talk the talk'.
We sat at the back of the theatre (really just his way of getting me away from preying eyes). Talking to mr D, I realised how much id missed him. He makes me feel like im the most important person in the world. My knees weaken around him.
He may be 40, but hes a sexy distinguished 40. He makes my blood boil when im around him. THis night was no different. I tried to avoid his gaze, his fingers which grazed as though an accident across my legs...but the tension was rising.
The night consisted of sneaky touches and the accidental grazing of fingers.
By the time we got back to the hotel...and a few wines later the sexual anticipation had built to near breaking point. Despite my allegations that nothing would happen...it took us all off 5minutes to get from classy and contained to wild and savage. During our realationship our love making had been slow and passionate...tonight we were simply primal.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Rose Ceremony
I watch the bachelor to much. i was just thinking this process is a bit like that. Only its more like 'the final daddy'. Im monogamous- i like one sugar daddy at a time.
The only difference I dont have 'chris' to hand select 25 of the most amazing, wealthy, talented men for me. Instead i get a sea of thorns, and end up pricking myself trying to find that 'rose'.
my previous sugar daddy (who i still keep in touch with) offered to help me find a potential- or rather offered to help me screen. He says that he understands why i left him but still wants me to be safe and happy. I guess its nice having someone on my side who I know will look after me.....at least someone knows. (a little wierd though!)
So anyway Ive given out a few roses- i got rid of 40 emails and have 5men to see. 5men-5dates-only one rose.
The only difference I dont have 'chris' to hand select 25 of the most amazing, wealthy, talented men for me. Instead i get a sea of thorns, and end up pricking myself trying to find that 'rose'.
my previous sugar daddy (who i still keep in touch with) offered to help me find a potential- or rather offered to help me screen. He says that he understands why i left him but still wants me to be safe and happy. I guess its nice having someone on my side who I know will look after me.....at least someone knows. (a little wierd though!)
So anyway Ive given out a few roses- i got rid of 40 emails and have 5men to see. 5men-5dates-only one rose.
Mr Creative Director: The Unsatisfying Ending
Mr director- my first and ever sugar daddy split up. He was in love with me and I wasnt in love with him....well thats what i tell myself anyway.
He has a wife and kids and I cant be with a man like that. It was okay when i felt that he was still devoted to them but the 'l' word destroyed my faith in him. I need him to love my beauty and my youth, but remain 'in love' with his wife and appreciate her. its complex- i dont mind being the missing piece- I don't mind being youth and beauty and hot sex and romance.
....... but I am not going to destroy him.
He has a wife and kids and I cant be with a man like that. It was okay when i felt that he was still devoted to them but the 'l' word destroyed my faith in him. I need him to love my beauty and my youth, but remain 'in love' with his wife and appreciate her. its complex- i dont mind being the missing piece- I don't mind being youth and beauty and hot sex and romance.
....... but I am not going to destroy him.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Random Vent
What kind of nice Sugar Daddy wakes a sugar Baby up at 6am.
I get it your horny- But I'm not!- I want to sleep- Ive worked a 24 hr shift prior to last night- leave me be, leave me be, leave me be- and when i move to the other room- dont follow me- Im genuinely exhausted and if you dont let me sleep- ill bite your head off!
Okay vent DONE
I get it your horny- But I'm not!- I want to sleep- Ive worked a 24 hr shift prior to last night- leave me be, leave me be, leave me be- and when i move to the other room- dont follow me- Im genuinely exhausted and if you dont let me sleep- ill bite your head off!
Okay vent DONE
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Oxytocin: the hormone of love and cuddling
Oxytocin is a brain chemical associated with pair bonding, including mother-infant and male-female bonds, increased paternal involvement with children, and monogamy in certain rodents, according to Kai MacDonald, M.D., assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCSD.
In humans, oxytocin is released during hugging and pleasant physical touch, and plays a part in the human sexual response cycle. It appears to change the brain signals related to social recognition via facial expressions, perhaps by changing the firing of the amygdala, the part of the brain that plays a primary role in the processing of important emotional stimuli. In this way, oxytocin in the brain may be a potent mediator of human social behavior.
“That's why oxytocin is sometimes called ‘the love hormone,'”said MacDonald. “It's said that the eyes are the window to the soul…they certainly are the window to the emotional brain. We know that the eye-to-eye communication—which is affected by oxytocin—is critical to intimate emotional communication for all kind of emotions – love, fear, trust, anxiety.Studies also show that those with higher level of oxycotorin are more generous......So there we go sugar babies- ask him for that allowance raise AFTER orgasm ;)
Mr Creative Director: The Conflict
The next 6months were amazing.......indulgence, shopping,rendevous.
Our most recent trip was sydney over semester break.
He had to work but we had a beautiful penthouse suite with jacuzzi - beautiful decor and an amazing view of the harbour and sydney bridge.
In addition to my allowance- he released me on sydney armed with cash. I had soo much fun- I got to see st pauls cathedral, the opera house, the sydney bridge, the rocks, botanical gardens, government house, bondi beach and even pulled in some shopping. Im a crazy tourist- i like to see Everything I can possibly see in a day.
By the time i got back to the suite- i was buzzing. Id left just enough time to have a spa, and prim myself for when he got home. I love the feeling when he walks through the door in a business suit; tired after a long day- it makes me feel like i have this beautiful feminine power that I can use to relax him. Im wearing a emerald green dress which sets off my eyes and black heels. I smell devine. He smiles at me and pulls me in to him telling me that I look exquisite. without a further word... we make love on the window seat and hold each other in that happy after sex stupor. He holds me closer and whispers "that hes falling far to deep"......
me: "maybe we should keep the emotions in check more"
him: "its too late for that sweetheart"
me: im sorry
him: its not your fault, lets go get some dinner- im hungry and I have a place in mind I know you'll like
Overall an amazing weekend but the feelings are beginning to emerge. I cant say I dont 'feel' for him...but I dont want to be a home wrecker and hes married. Its a 'no go' zone.
I justified him to myself thinking 'getting the youth and pleasure with me, means he doesnt get annoyed at his wife when she cant give it to him".
Pherhaps money is an aphrodiastic to me, or maybe its the way he charms me, he never fails to be a gentleman, inside and outside the bedroom.
Guys my age dont remember to bring me flowers, or walk on the road side, or even open a car door. They dont remember that my favourite colour is deep purple or that I love 'cookies and cream' icrecream.
Our most recent trip was sydney over semester break.
He had to work but we had a beautiful penthouse suite with jacuzzi - beautiful decor and an amazing view of the harbour and sydney bridge.
In addition to my allowance- he released me on sydney armed with cash. I had soo much fun- I got to see st pauls cathedral, the opera house, the sydney bridge, the rocks, botanical gardens, government house, bondi beach and even pulled in some shopping. Im a crazy tourist- i like to see Everything I can possibly see in a day.
By the time i got back to the suite- i was buzzing. Id left just enough time to have a spa, and prim myself for when he got home. I love the feeling when he walks through the door in a business suit; tired after a long day- it makes me feel like i have this beautiful feminine power that I can use to relax him. Im wearing a emerald green dress which sets off my eyes and black heels. I smell devine. He smiles at me and pulls me in to him telling me that I look exquisite. without a further word... we make love on the window seat and hold each other in that happy after sex stupor. He holds me closer and whispers "that hes falling far to deep"......
me: "maybe we should keep the emotions in check more"
him: "its too late for that sweetheart"
me: im sorry
him: its not your fault, lets go get some dinner- im hungry and I have a place in mind I know you'll like
Overall an amazing weekend but the feelings are beginning to emerge. I cant say I dont 'feel' for him...but I dont want to be a home wrecker and hes married. Its a 'no go' zone.
I justified him to myself thinking 'getting the youth and pleasure with me, means he doesnt get annoyed at his wife when she cant give it to him".
Pherhaps money is an aphrodiastic to me, or maybe its the way he charms me, he never fails to be a gentleman, inside and outside the bedroom.
Guys my age dont remember to bring me flowers, or walk on the road side, or even open a car door. They dont remember that my favourite colour is deep purple or that I love 'cookies and cream' icrecream.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Mr Creative Director: Interlude
Semester had finally started...but I was feeling good- along with all my summer savings plus mr.director I had a good stash of cash. I also had a nice few additions to my wardrobe.
I was looking good, feeling good and amped for the semester ahead. (bring it on!).
For the first time during university- I didnt have to work weekends to make ends meet....by this stage we had progressed to a cash allowance in the form of a credit card with a discussed limit. my sugar credit card payed for my books and more. Every few weeks he'd pay it off and id put the new cash towards my rent/groceries/bills. Money was never discussed so it worked well. I was happy and he was happy.
I was looking good, feeling good and amped for the semester ahead. (bring it on!).
For the first time during university- I didnt have to work weekends to make ends meet....by this stage we had progressed to a cash allowance in the form of a credit card with a discussed limit. my sugar credit card payed for my books and more. Every few weeks he'd pay it off and id put the new cash towards my rent/groceries/bills. Money was never discussed so it worked well. I was happy and he was happy.
Mr Creative Director: The climax
I love wellington- it has culture and pizazz. Known for being a buisness centre but also city of art, mueseums and character.
I arrived around 8 on friday night. He picked me up from the airport and we went out for a beautiful dinner at the Amebelli wellington. The ambelli is in a equisite converted victorian villa. The menu consists of the Mediterraneans most beloved delicacies. Some selections from the menu:
Pan-roasted Line caught Snapper, with Cous Cous, Crayfish
Chili Aioli & Fennel Broth
Prosciutto-wrapped Certified Organic Chicken, Cauliflower
Puree, Melted Mustard Leeks & Crispy Sage
Chickpea Kibbeh with Tahini and a Seasonal 'Mezze' of Organic Carrot
and Preserved Lemon; Roasted Cauliflower & Beetroot
It was absolutely devine to say the least. The atmosphere was once again perfect.
After dinner: a walk along the waterfront where we laughed till our stomachs hurt and I snuck him passionate but quick kisses when I thought noone was looking. ;) (this would later become a game of ours)
The hotel room was beautiful and as he promised two suites (not that wed need both) We stood on the balcony....the night air warm. Alone at last: we kissed passionately, exploring each other.................I discovered that night why older men make great lovers. :)
The next morning i awoke at 8 to the smell of fresh coffee (my favourite morning smell). Still in a happy stupor from the night before, he handed me the mug and we lay in bed for awhile- just talking.
After breakfast we headed into central city and indulged in some shopping ... I was hesitant to be too greedy considering that hed already forked out at least a grand for my car insurance...so
I settled on some beautiful Italian flats and my first ever bottle of chanel no5. :)
All in all, it was an amazing experience. I couldnt wait till we could make the next trip away :)
I arrived around 8 on friday night. He picked me up from the airport and we went out for a beautiful dinner at the Amebelli wellington. The ambelli is in a equisite converted victorian villa. The menu consists of the Mediterraneans most beloved delicacies. Some selections from the menu:
Pan-roasted Line caught Snapper, with Cous Cous, Crayfish
Chili Aioli & Fennel Broth
Prosciutto-wrapped Certified Organic Chicken, Cauliflower
Puree, Melted Mustard Leeks & Crispy Sage
Chickpea Kibbeh with Tahini and a Seasonal 'Mezze' of Organic Carrot
and Preserved Lemon; Roasted Cauliflower & Beetroot
It was absolutely devine to say the least. The atmosphere was once again perfect.
After dinner: a walk along the waterfront where we laughed till our stomachs hurt and I snuck him passionate but quick kisses when I thought noone was looking. ;) (this would later become a game of ours)
The hotel room was beautiful and as he promised two suites (not that wed need both) We stood on the balcony....the night air warm. Alone at last: we kissed passionately, exploring each other.................I discovered that night why older men make great lovers. :)
The next morning i awoke at 8 to the smell of fresh coffee (my favourite morning smell). Still in a happy stupor from the night before, he handed me the mug and we lay in bed for awhile- just talking.
After breakfast we headed into central city and indulged in some shopping ... I was hesitant to be too greedy considering that hed already forked out at least a grand for my car insurance...so
I settled on some beautiful Italian flats and my first ever bottle of chanel no5. :)
All in all, it was an amazing experience. I couldnt wait till we could make the next trip away :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Mr Creative Director: Scene Two
The plan was that we would meet in a beautiful upmarket restaurant in the city. 730pm.
He would be wearing a black business jacket and jeans. For my American readers- NZ is the 'casual' center of the world!
-A mad pre-dinner rush and perhaps insight into my life!-
Hit 63opm i'm stuck at work- I cant leave because im waiting for someone to take over my shift and they haven't shown. tick tick tick- FINALLY at 650pm i'm off. Im not happy- id planned on taking time to get ready. i wanted to look my absolute best.
So I take a shower at work and not having time to rush home i go through my overnight bag in the back of the car.
Lucky I always keep changes in my car! My life is like that- I never know when i might wind up at work or working so late at uni that i crash at a friends apartment closer to town.
I settle on jeans- stilettos (i keep shoes in my car too!) and a beautiful top that hugs my figure and accentuates all the right parts :). At traffic lights- i attempt to do my makeup. I arrive slightly late at 745- spray some perfume- take a deep breathe and get my a-game on.
I wander into the restaurant and glance around- he spots me - walks up - give me a quick kiss on the cheek and ushers me to the table. I take him in; hes fit, smells fantastic and has the aura of a complete gentlemen.
Lucky for me- he just laughed at my story and wasn't phased by my lateness...he looked at me, held my gaze and commented genuinely "you are exuistively beautiful, makeup or not"
-swooooon-
The evening in a nutshell
The atmosphere was perfect. There was light jazz in the background and a beautiful view of the harbour.
my companion is fascinating, the conversation rolls as though we were old friends. He compliments me often and brushes my hand tenderly at points.
Midway through he looks at me seriously- squeezes my knee and comments "I like you alot, I feel like I can stop searching for a Sugar Baby, your it".....and besides he jokes... "helping you would make me feel like i'm doing something more worthwhile than building the worlds biggest shoe collection".
I blush and nod- he takes my hand and comments "I dont want to meet you at 6pm every wednesday for a shag ..... I want to get to know you, I want to dine you, wine you and spoil you". I want to know 'who you are' and 'what makes you tick'. I want to know 'what drives you' and enjoy your youthfullness" ...he pauses and suggests that I accompany him to xxx this weekend on buisness. We will go for dinner, we will go dancing and the next day he will take me shopping.
He adds (thoughtfully) : i'll get two hotel rooms - there is no pressure for anything. He asks me if there are any expenses at the moment that i cant cover. I mention my car insurance. He nods and says 'not a problem- i cant let you drive around without car insurance anyway'. So there we have it- no allowances discussed but a nice first 'arrangement'. my car insurance is approaching a grand so i'm happy. secretly id probably have gone without the car insurance- he intrigues me so much- but i do need insurance and hes more than happy to pay.
He would be wearing a black business jacket and jeans. For my American readers- NZ is the 'casual' center of the world!
-A mad pre-dinner rush and perhaps insight into my life!-
Hit 63opm i'm stuck at work- I cant leave because im waiting for someone to take over my shift and they haven't shown. tick tick tick- FINALLY at 650pm i'm off. Im not happy- id planned on taking time to get ready. i wanted to look my absolute best.
So I take a shower at work and not having time to rush home i go through my overnight bag in the back of the car.
Lucky I always keep changes in my car! My life is like that- I never know when i might wind up at work or working so late at uni that i crash at a friends apartment closer to town.
I settle on jeans- stilettos (i keep shoes in my car too!) and a beautiful top that hugs my figure and accentuates all the right parts :). At traffic lights- i attempt to do my makeup. I arrive slightly late at 745- spray some perfume- take a deep breathe and get my a-game on.
I wander into the restaurant and glance around- he spots me - walks up - give me a quick kiss on the cheek and ushers me to the table. I take him in; hes fit, smells fantastic and has the aura of a complete gentlemen.
Lucky for me- he just laughed at my story and wasn't phased by my lateness...he looked at me, held my gaze and commented genuinely "you are exuistively beautiful, makeup or not"
-swooooon-
The evening in a nutshell
The atmosphere was perfect. There was light jazz in the background and a beautiful view of the harbour.
my companion is fascinating, the conversation rolls as though we were old friends. He compliments me often and brushes my hand tenderly at points.
Midway through he looks at me seriously- squeezes my knee and comments "I like you alot, I feel like I can stop searching for a Sugar Baby, your it".....and besides he jokes... "helping you would make me feel like i'm doing something more worthwhile than building the worlds biggest shoe collection".
I blush and nod- he takes my hand and comments "I dont want to meet you at 6pm every wednesday for a shag ..... I want to get to know you, I want to dine you, wine you and spoil you". I want to know 'who you are' and 'what makes you tick'. I want to know 'what drives you' and enjoy your youthfullness" ...he pauses and suggests that I accompany him to xxx this weekend on buisness. We will go for dinner, we will go dancing and the next day he will take me shopping.
He adds (thoughtfully) : i'll get two hotel rooms - there is no pressure for anything. He asks me if there are any expenses at the moment that i cant cover. I mention my car insurance. He nods and says 'not a problem- i cant let you drive around without car insurance anyway'. So there we have it- no allowances discussed but a nice first 'arrangement'. my car insurance is approaching a grand so i'm happy. secretly id probably have gone without the car insurance- he intrigues me so much- but i do need insurance and hes more than happy to pay.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Mr Creative Director: Scene One
Very first e-mail from Mr.Creative Director
you are young beautiful and fascinating and i want to give you uncomplicated fun and indulgence. i want to pay for stuff for you, i want to support and extend you in your endeavors, i want to savor your beauty and feel your primal response.
hey maybe i have you wrong. totally up for that. but my guess is you can feel most of what i am saying?
it resonates
it is in you
so lets continue to explore
speaking of primal impulses... i am male, i care about how you look. please send me some more pics. doesn't have to be fabulous etc, just you being you. and if you send me something a little bit sexy i wouldn't complain either.
Picking this apart:
- hints of an allowance sugar daddy, hints of gifts and some indulgence (tick,tick)
Obviously this is going to involve 'sex' - with a 40 year old- Im still not entirely sure at this point weather I can pull through with that..........this is new to me
On the flipside- hes interesting- his word play draws me in........
and with that I click REPLY-
Im honest, i tell him this is outside my usual sphere of conduct, but that he excites me and I want to continue to explore the possibilities. I send him a few pictures.
you are young beautiful and fascinating and i want to give you uncomplicated fun and indulgence. i want to pay for stuff for you, i want to support and extend you in your endeavors, i want to savor your beauty and feel your primal response.
hey maybe i have you wrong. totally up for that. but my guess is you can feel most of what i am saying?
it resonates
it is in you
so lets continue to explore
speaking of primal impulses... i am male, i care about how you look. please send me some more pics. doesn't have to be fabulous etc, just you being you. and if you send me something a little bit sexy i wouldn't complain either.
Picking this apart:
- hints of an allowance sugar daddy, hints of gifts and some indulgence (tick,tick)
Obviously this is going to involve 'sex' - with a 40 year old- Im still not entirely sure at this point weather I can pull through with that..........this is new to me
On the flipside- hes interesting- his word play draws me in........
and with that I click REPLY-
Im honest, i tell him this is outside my usual sphere of conduct, but that he excites me and I want to continue to explore the possibilities. I send him a few pictures.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Sugar Dating......A harmless social experiment?
The Journey Begins.
I was browsing the web on a summers night. Working 50hr weeks to save for school- was not fun- but at least i still had evenings. I began to plot better ways to make money.
My father says it takes "hard work to make money", "theres no such thing as a free ride".
A few days later I caught a documentary on television. Seeking arrangement and sugar dating. I bring my beauty, you bring the cash- it seemed primal. You satisfy me and ill satisfy you.
But was this glorified escorting or something more? It certainly went against everything ive been taught.
But curiosity always wins with me.....and what better way to entertain myself than a harmless social experiment.
After some elaborate word play- I created a profile. This fledgling sugar baby was about to learn to fly ...
I was browsing the web on a summers night. Working 50hr weeks to save for school- was not fun- but at least i still had evenings. I began to plot better ways to make money.
My father says it takes "hard work to make money", "theres no such thing as a free ride".
A few days later I caught a documentary on television. Seeking arrangement and sugar dating. I bring my beauty, you bring the cash- it seemed primal. You satisfy me and ill satisfy you.
But was this glorified escorting or something more? It certainly went against everything ive been taught.
But curiosity always wins with me.....and what better way to entertain myself than a harmless social experiment.
After some elaborate word play- I created a profile. This fledgling sugar baby was about to learn to fly ...
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